commentary...

from 1989 to 1999,i was "on the road",and i travelled all over the United States... there were times that i stayed in one place,like Sacramento California,parts of the state of Utah,and Washington,and Orange County,California,but it was an adventure those last six years,because i traveled almost every day,from Nevada,Arizona to the east coast... i covered some 50,000 miles through 23 states during that time... most of that time,i hitchhiked through the country(would not do it again;too dangerous),but when you have a "nickel in my pocket"(one of my favorite sayings),and you have very little reason to be in a big city,you head out on the road... when i started the adventure,i was immature,and a tweep,and when i ended it,i was mature,and tough as nails(had to be,because the road is a very tough place to be)... my family still has no real idea why i did everything that i did... some have their own ideas,and that is fine... there is more than one reason why it happened:being in love,and trying to really help someone is one reason,and that may be the biggest reason that my family believes that it happened... however,even though i dearly loved,and still do love,my family,i believe that i needed to grow up in a very big way,because even though i was in a family that raised me to be independent,and to be a normal kid,there were parts of my life that needed to be very mature,and in my opinion,i was very,very immature in many areas of my life... having very little money for the vast majority of that time taught me to appreciate money,but also taught me that money is not that important,if you know what i mean... many times that i traveled,i learned a great deal about who i was,and what i can do,because it was very very tough to be in Reno one day,Las Vegas the next,then Kingman,Arizona,within a couple of days,for example,and keep your sanity,and keep yourself safe from harm... people have asked me if i would change things,if i had to do it all over again... some people believe that i would,and yet my simple answer would be NO!!!!!! my life at the time that i started my ten year adventure was an immature and big mess,believe it or not,and even though my family did try to help at that time,i was not speaking to any of them,because i was so messed up mentally,and physically,i had no idea what i wanted... i would cry when my dad tried to talk about my grades in junior college,for example... he would get upset,and i would shut down... i was a mixed up,screwed up immature person,who honestly had no idea what to do,at that time... i was in a severe depression,and i was hurting inside... the time "on the road" taught me,and toughened me a great deal... one thing that i deeply regret was not to keep in touch with family,for the most part,because they did worry about me... i know that,but i was not ready to rejoin the family,and it took ten very tough years to basically grow up,and realize who i am... my dearly departed uncle Bob gave me the absolute best compliment that i have ever received... it was,"Christopher(my first name),i am very proud of you"... i was stunned to hear that and i asked him why??? he said five simple words,",because you are a survivor"... thank you UNC!!!!!