in my life,part 2...

people think that they know me,but honestly,i am a complex person... of all my family,i am the shortest family member,but really,i am the person who you really do not want to make mad,because there is an old saying that dynamite comes in small packages,and even though i have a very long fuse,when it is lit,just watch out... i try very,very hard to curb my temper,but if you are on my list of scum,as i call it,i want nothing to do with you,period... in other words,you really have to be scum to be on it... in the past week,or so,i have not been in the best of moods,and funny thing is that i can not figure out why... i have spent a lot of time being by myself,and have done a lot of prayer,which has helped me,but i just feel a little off kilter still... i am not depressed at all,and i am happy about a lot of things,but still... writing my blog has helped,because i am writing about who i really am-a simple guy,whose family means a great deal to him,and a person whose life has been rough in spots,and yet,still look at the bright side of living... over the years,i have grown up to be a tougher than nails person,in a way that i have a very hard time explaining to anyone... being disabled,fighting my way up from that,thirteen years of severe,suicidal depression,a decade of being "on the road",and many other things that honestly could have killed me,and still,i am standing on two feet,even though i hurt every day from injuries all over my body... i have one of the best jazz music collections,in the state of California,with some of my music collection dating back to the 1910's,to 1920's... the person who got me listening to jazz was my sweet dear UNC,whose heart was quite special,and who would put headphones on me at various times,and would say,"listen to this,Chris"... my blues music is including in that large collection,too... what a guy!!!!!!! like i said,i am a very complex person... in my music collection,here is just a sample of artists that i have,Patsy Cline,Johnny Cash,Frank Sinatra,Muddy Waters,Son House,Robert Johnson,Stevie Wonder,Jimi Hendrix,Miles Davis,John Coltrane,Billie Holiday,Garth Brooks,Brad Paisley,Rascal Flatts,Jelly Roll Morton,Charles Mingus,Anita O'Day,and Thelonious Monk... what a collection,and what a complex person that i am...