in my life,part 9...

why is it that,on weekends,i wake up very early(it is 3:48 am)??? i tend to miss my loved ones who have passed away the most on the weekends... everyone from my dear UNC,my soulmate,to my dearly departed mother... it really sucks... i was reminded of my dearly departed mother,in not a good way,because of a lousy unannounced visit by one of the worst people that i have ever known-my sister... she "was" in the neighborhood(she lives near a town in the foothills,so i do not think it was an accident,or "in the neighborhood")... well,after about fifteen minutes,it ended in a way that i honestly thought it would,with me slamming the door(shaking the building)on my sister's rear end,as i tossed her out... i finally told her what i honestly thought of her,so i feel good,because she really deserved to hear that,period... i could go on and on,but she is not worth any of the breath out of my body... back to the real subject:my loved ones that i really miss with all my heart,every one of them were sweet people... UNC was the "black sheep" of the family... i mean that with much affection... we were more alike that i want,or need,to admit,because we both survived some of the most difficult times,in our lives,growing up,and we had our "tough love" moments,like the moment that he jumped on my chest and slapped me four times,because i was a total moron... he aggravated a fractured cheekbone that i had suffered in a mugging four days earlier... i never blamed him for that... in fact,i laughed about it,even with him,in the years,when we were roommates,a second time... he was a person who would flip me off(laying it out on his pants,and just wait for me to notice),and then we would laugh our asses off,when i did notice... i remember the time that i farted,and it forced him to go into the kitchen to get away from the smell,and he told me that it was the worst "gas attack",since he had his two German Shepherds... i laughed so hard that night... i even "tortured" him by walking into the kitchen after him... we were like that,doing that kind of things to each other,and just laughing all the time... my soulmate was an unique person... she was the most beautiful woman that i ever knew... honestly,we both had our moments... of any person i ever knew,she was more like me than i can ever say,which at times,was like mixing gasoline and a match,but it never got physical between us,because we really loved each other,but i did take a lot of long walks,while angry,one of which that took me across the country to NYC,and Connecticut,and i finally called her days later,while in Scranton Pennsylvania(funny story that i have written about on here a few times)... one of the problems was financial,but i never was told by her that she was in extreme pain from her severe back injury(she was a paraplegic from a car accident),and if i had been told,i believe,half of the crud that we fought about,would have been moot,because i really loved her with all my heart... i even asked her to marry me,on my birthday,in 1992,on the phone,from a hotel room,in Saint George,Utah... that time,i was not angry... actually,i was working in Utah,at Zion National Park,that summer... that time was,and still is,very special to me... as for my dear departed mother,i remember a trip to Lompoc,California that we took,and yet,what is memorable is that we found this diner,outside Vandenberg AFB,that had the absolute worst food ever,so when we would harass each other(talk to one another,in our own special way),and get hungry,we would say,"let's go to Lompoc",and start laughing like hyenas... i miss those times,most deeply... hey,Mom,let's go to Lompoc...YAY!!!!!!!!