a story that i had to tell...

this is strange that i am up at this time,not because of the time,but because i honestly was dead asleep,and all of a sudden,the eyes popped open like an alarm clock going off... i usually wake up slowly... at 2:52 am,i woke up like a Jack in a Box... so here i am... i talk about people who i deeply miss(not to change minds or attitudes),but to tell about those people,who honestly had a very deep effect on my life... my soulmate was a lady of strange temperaments... one time,she was a sweetheart,the next time,she was a cobra,and honestly,i called her a cobra a few times to her face,and she would call me names that i can not mention on here... it honestly got much worse towards the end of her oh very short life,because of the real extreme pain that she was in... i was rather blind to that fact,and i am very remorseful about it... Mike and Diana reminded me of something:i was "on the road",by choice,but honestly,it was not,because every time,i stepped out of her apartment,i did wish silently to remain,even when i was very angry... both of us were very difficult to live with,and sometimes near impossible... it is a fact that when i was in town,i shopped for her.. i knew every small fact about her... in fact,i can still go into any store,and with a blindfold,and pick out things that she loved down to her undergarments,hair color,and makeup... a funny story is that the very last time we shopped together,we came out with three separate food baskets filled to the brim,and me $350- poorer... i could not believe it... she hated to shop,but when she did,oh boy,did she shop!!!! when she a sweetheart,she cooked,and was a good cook... i still remember her lasagna... i even cooked her my famous spaghetti recipe,and her kids ate it up like they were on a IV,and it took days,because i cooked a ton of it... she called me,"her miracle man",because sometimes i absolutely did some things that were impossible to do,but somehow things that she absolutely needed to have done were done... it was amazing to me that some things got done,because some days i had absolutely no way to do those things,but things got done... at the end of her life,we sorted through some very difficult subjects,talked everything out,and she was the very same loving lady that i honestly fell in love,on that very first day that we met,so long ago... now for the final thing that i will mention happened four days,before she passed away,we had an intimate "wedding ceremony"(no priest),in which she and i stood next to her bed,got down to brass tacks,and finally said the things that we both wanted to say for the thirteen and a half years that we knew each other... it will remain private,and in my heart,but in her memory,i will say,"Remember the 31st...",and i do every day...