people,and "on the road"...

i have had many troubles in my life,and most have been my fault... however,a few have not been my fault... being homeless(as i put it,"on the road")for a decade was,in many respects,my own fault... people may believe that i deeply regret it,but honestly,i do not regret it one iota... do not get me wrong:being homeless("on the road") for an entire decade was a real drag,and in my heart of hearts,i regret it,in ways that i can not explain in words,but folks,you must understand that,without that decade of sorrow and despair,i would not be the man that i am... i now know that if everything fell apart in my life,i would survive in ways that other people would never survive... for a couple days,try to go without money,car,credit cards,or phone,and simply walk around town,and then sleep outdoors,with nothing but your wits,and then talk to me about being tough as nails... i got cursed at,spit on,made fun of,and basically ignored by over 98% of the population,day after day,for a decade... i stunk(the human smell)for days,and people simply refused to be nice... even the people who helped me had a sincere look of pity on their faces,and me knowing that they would not like being there in their heart of hearts... i got hassled by police,and security in many places,and cities,and simply tossed out of places,for simply no reason,and then got cursed at by bystanders,who honestly thought that i was scum... people,after a while,simply forgot that i was a human being,so i ate meals,in some places that simply were not edible,and their dogs ate better... you think i am kidding??? well,i am not,by a long shot... i survived because i simply refused to buckle under so much crap that normal people would simply call inhumane,and most of the time,i kept my mouth shut,because the people that i was around at the time,would treat people like crap,if you spoke up... that did not happen often,but when it did happen,you learned the hard way that if you did,you simply did not eat for days... you honestly think that the human race is nice,overall... how dead wrong you are... people basically do not care a whit about other people,at all... there are some very nice people who want to help,but honestly,the vast majority do not care about anyone but themselves,and anyone who thinks otherwise is simply delusional,and people "on the road",are simple shells of themselves... i survived because i simply became meaner than a snake,and did not care about many people,when i was traveling... i had to survive by being someone i was not,a mean snake of a person,who simply did not care a whit about anyone... i learned so many things that i still use from that time "on the road",the value of money,for one thing,and i keep to myself,in a way that may not be normal to other people,but to me,it is absolutely normal for me,because i still have to survive,and honestly,i do not trust anyone,but friends and family,and if you can not understand that,that is just too tough... finally,i am a person that i have said has an nasty edge to himself that people do not understand... people may believe that they know me,but how wrong they are,because there is a side of me that,simply,very few people have ever seen,and to tell the truth,i am even afraid of that side of me... when i say that i am tough as nails,i mean it,because mentally,there is not a person who has been through as much as i have been through,and in that way,i am tough as nails...