my mother...

no one will ever know what my dearly departed mother's passing did to me at that time... i was in extreme shock,could not sleep at night for months,because i would wait for that shuffle of her feet over my head(it never came),and i really hurt very deeply... i was a mama's boy,and very proud of that little fact,and still miss her every single day of my life,since she passed away... people may find this strange,but i deeply respected her for the way that she passed into the afterlife... she really did not want to be a burden on anyone,and after that last doctor's appointment that she had,she simply decided that it was her time to go,so she did what she had to do to go on to the afterlife... in my opinion,she was on her last legs of a wonderful life,and she did not want to hurt anyone,by wasting away in a condition that was near impossible to live much further... damn,i really miss her in so many ways that i can not explain how deep the hurt goes,even now... it will be eight years,next Monday,since she has been gone,and i am in tears now typing this,so i will stop... i simply give a silent hug to her now.....